American culture has changed dramatically in the 20th century, and one area of significant change that is particularly pronounced is the shift from mate selection by courtship to the new paradigm of dating. Although the new system of dating has only been in place during the latter half of the century, it has so effectivly replaced the old system that very few people of either the Baby Boomers, Generation X, or beyond are familiar with how the courtship model operated. The traditional ways are receiving much attention, however, as the fundamental flaws of the new system are being discovered painfully by those under it in the new generation.
The goal of this page is to share resources on the topic of courtship. There are several key areas to focus on: How the traditional model operated under ideal conditions, What changes occurred within the culture to neccessitate the dating system, How these changes have impacted culture, What contemporary changes are occurring with the system in the early 21st century, and How to recover what has been lost and remain relevant. College students are particularly interested in these developments as most are painfully aware by experience of the current problems with the dating system (having been through multiple cycles of coupling and breakup), and are often the most enthusiastic of reforming or replacing the dating culture.
If you have comments, issues, or concerns, please email me directly: michaelh@ductape.net
"I suspect many of you are right now saying to yourselves, "Courtship? How quaint! She must either be blind to present day reality or afflicted with terminal nostalgia even to use such a term, let alone make a case for its practice." I confess to mild nostalgia, but I deny the charge of ignorance. On the contrary, my interest in courtship is spurred by a keen - and painful - awareness of the way things now are, especially regarding the sexual practices and reigning opinions of young men and women. About these matters, I have been sobered and educated by more than 25 years of teaching and conversing with young collegians."
Leon and Amy Kass. "Wandering Toward the Altar: The Decline of
American Courtship"
Available through Mars Hill Audio
[
http://www.marshillaudio.org/catalog/reports.shtml ]
"Much public attention is given to the decline of marriage and the family in America, but few have thought to relate this decline to the changing ways in which Americans understand and practice courtship. The cultural wisdom and conventions that once guided young men and women in their efforts to find and win suitable partners for marriage are vanishing. Modesty and sexual restraint are ridiculed, while previously stigmatized behaviors such as casual sexual "hook-ups" and premarital cohabitation have become commonplace.
"Wandering Toward the Altar explores the broader cultural changes behind the end of traditional American courtship, including the rise of youth culture and dating, the demise of the productive family household, careerism and the later age of first marriage, the replacement of romantic imagination with youthful cynicism about love and marriage, and the exclusion of home and family from the practices of courting. This four and one-half hour program (on three audio cassettes) features studio interviews with Leon and Amy Kass, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, Wendy Shalit, Allan Carlson, Beth Bailey, Steven Nock, Kay Hymowitz, and Douglas Wilson, as well as extensive field reporting."
from Daniel Amos's album "Doppelgänger"
Words and Music by Terry Taylor and Jerry Chamberlain
©1983 Twitchen Vibes/ Paragon Music Corp. ASCAP
Girls with cars
Girls with cameras
Girls on game shows
Girls behind glassWho are the real girls?
What's happened?
Who are the real girls?
Who are the real girls?
Who are the real girls?
Who are the real girls?
What's happening...
What's happening...
What's happening to women?
Who's on the seat of election
This casting couch of moral rejection
Men, muscle-bound without affection
Those who exercise subtle seductionGirls in ads
Girls with big wigs
Girls incognito
Girls on display
Who makes the sacrifice?
Who pays the price?They live the cheap life
Low budget still life
What makes a real life?
Who are the real girls?What's happened to virtue?
What's happening to people?Some females, they don't see heaven
And he-men deflect their vision
Angels grieve their indecision
God escapes their imaginationGirls- what are the statistics?
Girls- one out of two?
Girls- one out of ten?
Girls- is she one in a million?Who is the real girl?
Who are the real girls?
Who is the real girl?
Who are the real girls?I want to know
Who are the real girls?
"I'll always be younger than this society. What do you expect
me to do, keep silent all my life?"
Oleg Kostoglotov, from Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's Cancer Ward
michaelh.com© Copyright 1997-2004, Michael Hamblin, All Rights Reserved. [ michaelh@ductape.net ] Last Modified: Friday, 16-Jan-2004 15:49:55 CST |